Kathy Helidoniotis
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You Know You're TOTALLY HORSE MAD When:

  • Your horse eats better than you do.
  • You sign everything in yours and your horse's name.
  • Your horse gets new shoes before you do.
  • There's a saddle on the table, a bridle in the bathroom and a rug on the clothesline.
  • You can be too sick to go to school but you're never too sick to go riding.
  • You can rattle off every detail of your horse's bloodline but can't remember your sister's birthday.
  • Horse poo smells good to you.
  • Your worst enemy is the bot fly.
  • You spend more time on your horse's hair than on your own.
  • You tell your bike to "whoa". Or you cluck to make it go faster.
  • You practise tail braiding on your mum's hair, friends' hair ... anyone's hair!
  • Your pockets are full of hay.
  • The green grocer is your best friend (after your horse, of course!).
  • The only person in the world who understands you is your horse (and yes, I said "person" on purpose!).
  • You can't for the life of you remember the word "heel". That thing on the bottom of your leg that joins it to your foot is called a "hock".
  • People know where you live because there's a horse float parked in the front yard.
  • You ask Santa for things for your horse.
  • You have more pictures of your horse in your wallet than of any member of your family.
  • You clean your tack after every ride but never clean your room.
  • Your school uniform has horse hair on it even thought you've never worn it riding (well, not very often).
  • You get thrown off your horse and are more worried about the horse than about you.
  • There isn't a single photo of you without a horse in it.
  • You get out of bed at 4 am to get ready for a show but can't wake up in time for school.
  • You love meeting new people so you can tell someone else all about your horse.
  • You don't understand why you get into trouble for soaking bits in the kitchen sink and washing saddle blankets in the bath.
  • You can name 150 horse and pony breeds in alphabetical order but you can't remember the words to the national anthem.
  • You could have had the worst day ever but none of it matters once you're in the saddle.

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